I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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