My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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