you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
