Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
