You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
