just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
