i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
