I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
is wine microwaveable?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
