You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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