I showed him my bush... on skype.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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