Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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