Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
did i walk over a car last night?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
