when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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