I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize