i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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