So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My ass is underappreciated
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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