If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
