She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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