1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
