I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize