good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
