Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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