just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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