Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's never too late to be topless.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
