you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
