They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
