Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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