I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
