the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize