: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize