Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
