dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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