My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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