If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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