I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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