nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
