Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize