a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
