I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
