oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize