Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
