there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
