I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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