I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
