And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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