If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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