): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
