Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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