Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
