I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
