S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize