i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
