That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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