i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
