I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
