Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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