How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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