If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
