just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
