I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
