Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He kissed a someone with a penis
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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