Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
