I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
